After years of frustration with another project that I didn't see a future for, in 2019, I found this EP saved on a disk along with its INDAUTOR registration.
When I saw the project, I said, 'Oh yes, Awaiting...what the heck.'
I didn't hesitate to call my colleague Chinito, with whom I had already worked not long ago.
Awaiting was an important milestone in my music career.
It was my first alternative rock project, composed of five songs that I wrote in the year 2010.
The inspiration behind this project was my first love, a girl who gave meaning to the term 'love.
He seemed quite interested in working on the project. I headed to Morelia where we recorded and mixed the album in just a few days. We used his studio, 'Chinito Records,' for the entire creative process.
I couldn't have been more comfortable. I guess the change in climate gave me a bit of a cold, but it was still very comfortable to work there.
Behind the Songs
AWAITING
"Where were you? I couldn't find you".
The first track of the EP album.
When I wrote these lyrics, I was starting to fall in love with someone older than me.
When I met her, I knew she was too beautiful and unique for me, and the more I got to know her, the more I realized how much we had in common.
My college friends knew it, but I kept denying it.
She was in a relationship and clearly didn't want to come between them.
But fate brought me together with her for a short period of time.
We talked day and night.
I slept only 4 hours a day; I couldn't stop talking to her.
And I definitely couldn't deny to myself that I was starting to fall in love with her.
DEAR LOVE
"Dear love, don't step aside".
I felt she was perfect for me.
But as in many of my relationships,
I found 'buts' in her, and I distanced myself.
Perhaps I should mention that her boyfriend was a close friend of mine.
Appreciating them both, I made them get back together, and I distanced myself.
Every day I thought about how much she complemented my life.
I dreamed of her... always.
A year after distancing myself from her, I saw her passing by on the street.
I didn't want to talk to her, so I walked away to avoid her noticing me.
Hours later, I couldn't help but send her a DM, to find out what had become of her.
It turned out she was somewhat happy that I reached out.
But she wasn't doing quite well because her relationship with her boyfriend... had ended.
DOVES
"Little dove, fly away far away.."
PROMISE
"Cause when it's past midnight,
everyone wants you back".
She was the girl everyone wanted to be with.
Anyone who talked to her would easily fall in love.
There I had a small chance to be with her again,
but this time, without interfering with my feelings in a relationship that wasn't meant for me.
So I did my best not to push her out of my life.
Until one day, my feelings took control of my actions.
And they forced me to confess to her at an inappropriate moment.
She had just come out of the cinema, couldn't see me, and didn't answer my calls.
I sent her a voice message, a message so confusing and stubborn that I wouldn't have dared to listen to it myself.
For obvious reasons, she didn't feel the same way about me.
But there was something I seemed not to know.
Apparently, she was very vulnerable and confused about the relationship she was in, so everything that happened between us, according to her,
was nothing more than a lie, a confusion.
DREAMIN'
"Believe in yourself, go chase your dreams"
Some time after finally distancing myself from her,
'Dreamin'' was a song I wrote when I was 13.
I couldn't stop thinking that someday I could be a very successful artist.
After finding this hidden project in my room, I read the lyrics of 'Dreamin'' and realized that much of what it talked about didn't make sense, but the essence of this track was very simple. Follow the dream.
I rewrote the lyrics of this song and added the ending to this story.
Despite having fallen in love and believing that I had found my soulmate.
I decided to take what was so hard to forget and leave it behind, to carry it with me always. Find a place in my heart, so that every day when I listen to how I felt back then, it reminds me that I once fell in love.
I may sound a bit masochistic at times, but that constant pain is the engine of my creativity. And that daily reminder is what keeps me going...
Now you know the complete story behind 'Awaiting'
Now listen to the complete album with this context that you now know:
Stephen White - Awaiting EP
